“…Peter said to him in reply, ‘Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water.’ He said, ‘Come.’ Peter got out of the boat and began to walk on the water toward Jesus. But when he saw how (strong) the wind was he became frightened; and, beginning to sink, he cried out, ‘Lord, save me!’ Immediately Jesus stretched out his hand and caught him, and said to him, ‘O you of little faith, why did you doubt?’ After they got into the boat, the wind died down.” Matthew 14:29-32

So, you just get off of a retreat. You’re fired up! You’ve got the love of Christ in your heart. You’ve made lots of new friends. Maybe you’ve also met a member of the opposite sex that you are interested in. Bottom line: you feel GREAT!

Fast-forward to about month after the retreat. Still fired up? Still talking to those fifty friends you met on your retreat? Still going to mass and adoration every week, praising God with your hands raised high and your voice even higher? How about that person you met that you were attracted to: are you and that person dating, or are has that relationship fizzled, too?

I hate to break it to you, but a lot of what happened to you on that retreat had a lot to do with your feelings. And, you know what? To a certain degree, that is a good thing. Retreats are times where you can go away from your busy life and spend some time with God and with other people as well. And, naturally, when you are confined in a small space with forty or fifty people, you form emotional attachments to some of those people. Thus, all of the spirituality and Jesus-moments that go on during the retreat get paired up with the elation of meeting new people and having an awesome time. It’s a natural occurrence, one that has happened to me on more than one occasion.

But here’s the problem: more often than not, we associate what God reveals to us during these spiritual-retreats with the feelings of fellowship and fun that we experienced during the retreat. The danger is that feelings and emotions change like the tide. Think about it: if I came up to you right now and told you that you were a horrible person and that I think you will fail at everything you do in your life, your mood would change. Furthermore, if I approached you right now and told you that I loved you and that you were the most talented, wonderful, caring person I’ve ever met, your mood would probably change, too.

Peter and the other disciples experienced the same thing in today’s passage. They had just seen Jesus feed more than 5000 men, women and children with just 5 loaves and 2 fish. They were astounded at His power. Then, when they saw Jesus walking on, they felt even more awe and wonder. After all, have you ever met anyone who can feed thousands of people and then take a stroll on top of the nearby lake afterwards?

And then there was Peter. Oh, how I identify myself with Peter. In more ways than one, I see myself as a mirror-image of Peter. But I’m not talking about him being the first Pope or the leader of the disciples. I’m talking about some of his less-desirable attributes:

He had a big mouth (Mark 8:29-30)
He was overzealous (Matthew 16:22-23)
He overreacts (John 18:10)
He denies Jesus, despite saying he never would (Luke 14:66-72)

But, of all Peter’s mishaps, this one hits me the most. He feels so excited about seeing Jesus’ amazing power that he thinks he can walk on water, too. And, when he focuses completely on Jesus, he can. But, eventually, his eyes start to wander to what is around him—the thunder, the lightning, the crashing waves. Consequently, he falls into the water. Can you relate to that feeling of invincibility? If I’m not mistaken, it’s exactly what you feel after a retreat. My point here is that what you experience on retreat weekends is far beyond your mercurial-emotions. Jesus Christ, the Person who knew you from before you were even conceived in your mother’s womb, reveals Himself to us in some way or another on these weekends. In a very holy, true-sense, He comes down from heaven, looks us in the eyes and tells you that He loves you more than we can possibly imagine. And we respond in the only way we can: we lift our hands and raise our voices in praise and worship of the One who created us.

So, to wrap things up, what you are feeling right now is good. It is what sustains you, and what makes you enjoy God, Jesus and going to Church right now. But it’s only the surface. God’s love is deeper than the deepest-oceans and higher than the highest-mountains. And what you’ve experienced is just an inkling, just the beginning of what God’s amazing grace is all about. God put you on that retreat for a reason. And, I promise you that the reason involves you diving deeper into the love that you felt this weekend. We must dive so deep into God’s grace and love that it surpasses mere “feelings.” If you dive deep enough, what you once “felt” will transform into knowledge. You will KNOW that Jesus loves you; you will KNOW that He is all-powerful; and you will KNOW that, while feelings will inevitably fade, your faith in God will never diminish.

Matt Maher said it best in his song You Are My Everything—“so lead me past emotions/because they change with the wind/I want to be a true disciple/to daily choose Your hand.” Amen to that, brother.